Forget about the reason for the season!

A friend, John, emailed this to us. I guess it's been around the traps or else John wrote it himself, but it makes me shake my head in despair - and laugh too.

John's email -

I wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting to you, but it is so
difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending
someone. So I met with my Solicitor yesterday, and on his advice, I wish
to say the following:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the Summer Solstice holiday
period, practiced within the most enjoyable tradition of the religious
persuasions or secular practices of your choice with respect for the
religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their
choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and
medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally
accepted calendar year of 2007, but not without due respect for the
calendars of choice of other cultures, whose contributions to society
have helped make Australia great (not to imply that Australia is
necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "Australia" in
the western hemisphere) and without due regard to the race, creed,
colour, age, physical ability, or disability, religious faith or the
sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
him/herself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is
revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted
to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for
a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday
greeting, whichever comes first and warranty is limited to replacement
of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the
wisher.

/Disclaimer: No trees were harmed, nor any whales saved or harmed, in
the sending of this message, however a significant number of electrons
were slightly inconvenienced./